Accepting Grace

A wise man recently reminded me of the concept of really letting God love me. Its funny because even looking back, the way in which I came to have this conversation with this man was totally set up by God. I've been mulling over this idea that, God delights in me more than anyone else, that one day I will stand as a bride, His pure bride... now that's an analogy I understand. I realized, through my mullings, that letting God love us is something we don't naturally do, in fact we almost do the opposite.
Grace isn't a concept I can easily understand or accept. In fact I've been known to talk myself out of asking for forgivness because I assume it wont be given, without really allowing for the other to make that decision. So this Love, this Grace, this Delight that is mine, is blowing my mind. Suddenly passages of scripture that I've quoted for so long, have come alive to me. For example... THE verse. "For I know the plans I have for you..." You all know I like that verse alot and I've written it in letters, grad comments, invitations... But now I see it in a whole new way, granted, my set of circumstances aids that, regardless, I'm going to get on my soap box about this one...
"plans to give you HOPE and a FUTURE" He doesn't just promise to make everything bright and great, He promises hope. Hope comes from perserverance which comes through trials and if the measure of the first two is a measure of the hope He gives us, then I think that everyone is ladened with hope. Sometimes when I get overwhelmed with my own struggles I look at the challenges of those around me (no, Im not talking about watching the OC to feel better about my life)...
And a FUTURE, let me tell you how good that promise sounds when you sit on the edge of university and can't decide between History, Psyc., Poli. Sci. or Human Service. Jesus promises ME a future. And the best part about the whole verse is that I know God's plans are way bigger than anything I could imagine them to be, that I have no idea what He has planned, I only know that they are GOOD plans with HOPE and a FUTURE!!!
I hope my ramblings make sense to you...