Sunday night.... The week looms ahead of me, ominous and full of lots of basketball and tutoring, with no hope of the snow days I have come to love. I sit here in front of my cozy, pink-tiled fireplace and try to sort through my thoughts of Darren's sermon this morning on marriage and roles and submission... Im wrestling through this all, my Karis CD playing in the back ground to feed my introspective mood.
Some times I feel like I have a little dual personality thing going on in this area... there are my natural, sinful, stubborn instincts to rebel and be like a 2 year old stomping my foot in declaration of my independence. Then there is the "Focus on the Family", Sunday school answer, that the concept of submission and dying to self is easy to understand, I just let my husband lead and go with the flow. But in reality I am not happy with either of these options. I don't want to just go with the flow and yet I am perfectly happy to just "wife-it" as a friend of mine recently referred to it. So what is the fine balance? How is it that man and woman were created equal, with separate, equally important roles. I think I have a hard time wrapping my head around it because its not tangible. Im a "kinesthetic" learner (according my psycology text book) which means I like concrete rules and examples. There is no step by step process to 'dying to self'. mmmm....
That was a ramble, Im fully aware, but its just what Im thinking and I suppose its in a bit of response to Steph's blog last week - just to let her know she's not alone in her wrestling...
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2 comments:
Hey, I'm not even married and I wrestled so much with his sermon yesterday too. I totally know what you mean... my problem is I really WANT to submit to my guy's leadership, but I hang on, waiting until I think that he's doing "a better job than me." And that until then, I can keep leading me/us. I don't think it works too well, though. Ha, live and learn?
Hey you girl. I'm with you. We're called to so much, but sometimes, I'm not even so sure about what that is. Brad and I have had that talk, and I have learned lots about what it means to stop my own tongue and listen to my husband. Not sure of the limits and boundaries but I'm learning. I'm excited to hear of your thoughts- let me know what you figure out.
Love ya
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